The Critic's Heart

Death

2011-01-30T14:37:00.000-08:00

Jesus does not concern himself with our life and death-but being glorified in our living and dying.

10 Barrels Inspiration

2009-12-30T21:39:00.000-08:00

So Im chatting with my friend Tony the mortgage broker the other day sipping a delightful 10 barrels IPA at Kelly's Olympian in Downtown portland watching the snow come down and we got onto our favorite subject. The church.

Background...most of you probably know by now that I don't really know what to do with institutional church. It eludes me. None-the-less Tony and I were chatting about our most recent thoughts regarding planting a church in Portland. He proposed this idea. What if sending people out is something we do all the time. So as soon as 12-15 folks are showing up and in relationship from a particular neighborhood we send them out to start their own thing in that neighborhood. That we are generous with relationships.

I began to question him inside thinking of the sadness of losing the "best" guitar player, or a great teacher....and then I thought. Wait, I have NEVER, EVER wanted the sunday morning service to be the zenith of our mutual experience as the ecclesia every week. So we love to suck, we embrace the it's not perfect ethos. Why? Because our sunday morning gathering is not the climax of our experience with God or each other.

We (the church) are supposed to be about relationship and being in it together. That is our apogee. That is the thing to which we pour our greatest effort, time, and resources into. Being excellently relationally bound to one another.

So therefore since the sunday morning experience isnt "IT." We can give generously of peoples gifts and talents because we don't need to hold them close.

Maybe it was the inspirational 10 barrels IPA...or maybe it was the alcohol. But I felt inspired and wanted to share.
Cheers

The Un(Safe) Jesus

2009-11-22T10:14:00.000-08:00

A letter I wrote to a friend about my latest church experience.

This whole ERT thing for our church just kills me. It's typifies American sunday morning Christianity, why you ask..(cuz I hear it.) Well heaven forbid we actually believe Jesus is who he says he is or we believe God says who he is. So since we cannot trust what they might be up to or doing, we get to take things into our own hands in the name of "safety" and "security" 2 thing God NEVER promised Israel, and 2 things Jesus NEVER promised his disciples or those he called out from their lives and asked to live a life of sacrifice and picking up their own cross and following him.

The idea that I go "TO" church and have to be at a place where doors are being locked or people might be trained with tazer's repulses me. Why are we doing this, for safety, we have fallen into the ways of our cultural trappings of believing that death is something to fear, and thus a fear of death and the fear of God doing his work; has allowed us to step in the face of God and take matters into our own hands.

Welcome everyone to the emergency response team, locker's of doors and carriers of tazers(well a select few who might get trained) Really...REALLY. Our God that we have agreed to sacrifice ourselves to is that small? Really...REALLY? Our God is so incapable, so weak so distracted that we must take our own life into our own hands?

Jesus taught that we must live willing to give up our life in-order to actually experience life...not be protectors of our life.

I want to believe that the Jesus I read about in scripture and the God I try to grapple with, that are supposed to be one in the same, that who they say they are is actually true, and I have professed faith in them and thus in what they have said.

I wish a community of faith, was truly that and wanted to live lives in the way in which Jesus called...

Ranting over:
Jonathan

I showed up to church this morning and found the typical door I enter in to the church was locked. Finally one of the emergency team members came and opened the door for me and mentioned that we had new security measures. There are now 6-7 guys roaming around with secret service radio's wrapped around their ears and down their sleeves. Making sure we are "safe."

Something I would contend Jesus NEVER promised.
This was written over a cup of typical church mediocre coffee made to taste tolerable with a packet of swiss miss.

The best $100 I've ever spent.

2009-01-26T01:15:00.000-08:00

Last night I was stuck in Las Vegas. Kathryn, my wife, and I had been there for new years along with some of our closest friends on the planet. I wound up getting bumped on my flight and then they put me up in a hotel near the strip. Around 11pm or so a transformer blew and the block lost power. I decided to go wander inside New York New York. Grab some dinner and just wander while I awaiting power returning at the hotel.

Now some of you know that I live in NE portland, near 82nd Ave. It's well know for the number of women prostituting themselves out on the street and after living there for sometime, they become quite easy to spot.

While sitting watching espn highlights for the night a young black lady from Manhattan approached me. I knew instantly what she was up to. I quickly got out of the situation and let her keep going around the hotel. As I was sitting there I felt prompted to go and speak with her.

I asked her if she had some time to chat. She immediately began playing the game that women do. We wandered around New York New York for 10 or so minutes chatting. Finally I asked, "How much $$$ is your time worth to just let you be you, and to keep you from being dominated by some guy that just wants to have his way?"

She was flattered. I was surprised. I didnt know if she would be offended thinking that I was looking down on her or judging her. We agreed on $100 being worth half an hour.

Mia and I sat in the middle of Nickel slots for 30 or so minutes--chatting. She's a beautiful young lady from New York and has a great smile. She came to Vegas to work as a waitress and quickly realized how much money there was in prostituting herself. We didn't dig into it much further, but just kinda chatted.

I was AMAZED at how joyful she seemed...She was honest with me and kept asking why I would want to spend time with her. I told her that I was saddened at the number of men that show up and meet with her so they can exercise their craziest notions of sex and relationship.

Mia was very gracious and shared that this sort of thing had happened before, a sailor wanted to just chat with someone, but it ultimately culminated in them going up to his hotel room and finishing things off.

I am uncertain why last evenings events were so interesting and saddening to me. I walked away feeling that it might have been the best $100 I had spent in months. Truth be told, I wish I could afford to get her and many others like her to spend their time being them, and having a place to share and laugh, and not be someone sex toy.

I am still working through this experience, as I walk through this journey I will update you all.

Jonathan

Death and all his Friends

2008-10-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

Death. I always viewed death as something that happens, don't get stressed about it, there's nothing you can do. I'm logical. So thus death takes on a reasoned place. Something of science, or history, an inanimate thing that happens–it is.

But tonight my cat was hit by a car driving down our street. I am not a cat person; but like all things I wanted a dog, my wife wanted a cat. So we comprimised and got a cat. To be honest this cat was not like most cats. He barked, he let me play with him, rub his belly, even let me put him in a box and toss him around. However, tonight my cat died.

Emotions they are funny things. They are not reasoned, or explained and sometimes they just happen. Tonight for the first time in my life I experienced the emotions of death. No words, can seemingly express these emotions. Its a feeling of sadness of memories to no longer be shared. When someone or something leaves existence its as though part of us leaves.

But Death has no friends, the emotions of death are an isolating experience.

All this, to my wonderfully fantastic dog-like cat, and my friend Felix.

Lord Save Us From Your Followers

2008-01-29T00:03:00.000-08:00

I just got through watching "Lord Save Us From Your Followers." Though the style and full-on quality is not up to your typical Hollywood standard, but the message from both lovers and students of Jesus and those who would not classify themselves as such was both appalling and emotional.

I would encourage secular and religious to give this movie a shot. It extends a warm hand to both sides to begin and honest dialog to work together.

I wish my life could emulate the best of these people. I wish I was lest hypocritical, less selfish, less egotistical.

The Being of Subversive and Fukuyama and The End of Time

2007-10-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

I have recently been re-reading the book that started me on this path of understanding worlviews, changing cultures, missional faith, postmodern incarnations of people and faith: Subversive Christianity.

The book has a great deal to do with Christian beliefs involving socio-polical thought from an academic yet practical point of reference. A preface to the quote, Wash has been discussing that there is a larger histrical process at work and that these events are on not accidental or contingent but that they point to something essential in time.

He goes on to say, "'...the century that began full of self-confidence in the ultimate triumph of the Western Liberal democracy seems at its close to be ruturning full circle to where it started...to an unabashed victory of economic and political liberalism.' The winner in this historical process is not simply the economic and military power of the West, but, more importantly, this historical process demonstrates the victory of the Western idea, evident first 'in the tita exhausting of viable systematic alternative to Western liberalism', and second'in the ineluctiable spread of consumerist Western culture'"

Later he says, "The end of history as such: that is, the end point of mankind's ideological evolution and the univeralization of Western liberal democracy as teh final form of human government."

We live in a time where the western liberal idea and action of culture has nearly dominated the entire world. We, western liberal democrats, believe our socio-political beliefs are the height of human history, and it may be. But what is next?

What will the future of socio-political thought, what will supercede the consumer capitalist whore that has made its "rounds" to the world and the addictive nectar of its breasts have led us to where we sit today. A world saturated with selfish abandon, greed, the phrase keeping up with the Jones no longer apply, as we are swept up trying to keep up with the Jones', Smiths', Walters'....

This consumer capitalist agenda has led to the self-medication through buying power. Those with greater buying power "seem" to be better, they have just self medicated more.

So a couple questions, how do we stop this trend towards greater and greater self-medicating? How do we live a life of less consumer addiction?

Next, what is the future of Socio=political thought, what way humanity will succeed our current capitalist democray. Clearly it is not Communism, definitely not divine right, so I have to imagine that it will be something new, something different, a reaction to this current capitalism.

At this current point in my journey I have been reading a great deal to read the signs and better understand what the future holds, but I have no conclusive understanding. If anyone has any suggestions offer them up, as I am curious to see where other are at.

Anticipatory Faith/Theology

2007-09-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

Earlier I posted that I am blogging during worship, well here are those thoughts. If you get hung up on the idea of me doing this during a communal gathering, my apologies. It is not my desire to be different or unique, its just how I felt like I should respond during that time.

I am by nature an opinionated person. I also happen to be an amateur historian. I love history, reading and understanding–postulating why people have done what they did. As such I am extremely passionate about learning from the past. Examining the past, not leaving any rock unturned to try and understand the past in order that we might learn from it and not repeat the sins of our forefathers.

This lifestyle of looking through the past and trying to learn from it and can lead to reactionary lifestyle. One that approaches each situation in life as though it is something from the past.

When I approach events or gatherings at my community of faith i often it approach them with a knowledge of the past, as such I often want to change within the community and change within evangelical theological.

I am tired of my faith/theology being reactionary. I so often react to what is happening, I am seemingly unable to look to the future, allowing events and situations to happen seeing them merely a step in the journey of community. Instead I often see them as something that should be done differently in light of the past.

When can my faith/theology become anticipatory?

Even my worship is often reactionary and not anticipatory. Why do I get so hung up on the past and present and be unable to cast a vision and passion for the future or even live in expectancy of the future. Am I poor “reader of the signs?1” Is my faith not enough to listen to you father in regards to the future?

If I step back and think and dream I can be anticipatory, but in the moment, I get hung up on our past that we have yet to learn from.

I desire an anticipatory faith/theology.

1) From Len Sweet.

Blogging as a form of worship

2007-09-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my community of faith’s weekly worship gathering right now, getting some weird looks since I am on my laptop. But today my reaction to worship was to blog, it seems an appropriate response–though for some it is a non-traditional response to worship, I felt inspired today.

I hope that others view blogging as a form of worship on an equal plane with that of writing only using a 21st century tool. If anyone has any thoughts about 21st century responses to worship, I would be curious to hear your thoughts.

Something Different, Something New

2007-06-28T01:33:00.000-07:00

Many of you may not know this but for the last year, I have been working at starting my own business. I have long enjoyed working on, modifying, and racing Volvo. So last may I started R-Sport International. We specialize in Performance and Restpration related parts for Volvo of all models.

Our website is in the midst of a redesign, but check us out at www.r-sportinternational.com

And let me tell you, starting your own business can be scary.

Season of drought.

2007-06-28T01:25:00.000-07:00

I have to say it has been over a year since my last post. I can honestly say that is has been one of the driest years of my life. I seem further and further away from my faith, yet at the same time I seem closer and closer to something that makes sense. I know that probably sounds heretical, but honestly I look forward to the rejuvenation to come, I just have way too much bagage and history, and hurt that plagues my attempts to draw closer to Jesus.

I wonder if sometimes the business of my life keeps me from having to confront my ownself, as I fear some of the stuff that will need to be shared, confessed, healed, and restored.

For those of you that know me, please be praying that a season or refreshing rain would come sooner than later, and that my heart that at times clings with just the strength of a whisper would be restored with the joy, peace, and care that God has asked of me.

This was written in the utter silence of the late night, with parched lips.

My thoughts on the Kingdom and Davinci.

2006-05-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

Several years ago as I read through the synoptics I became fascinated with the gospel fo Jesus. Or better put, the gospel Jesus preached. Since becoming a Christian the only gospel I had ever been told was that of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. But as I read through the Synoptics I found Jesus to not teach of his death, burial, and resurrection, but that of the coming Kingdom of God.

Growing up a futurist and believing that the Kingdom of God was completely in the future I learned there were two groups of futurists.

The salvation by faith in Jesus crowd. This group seemed to careless about this world, the earth, or its residents; unless it meant getting them to pray the prayer and get their fire insurance.

And the legalists. The legalists all gave lip service to grace and salvation through Jesus, but they taught that you had to do(or not do things as it seemed so often) things to get to heaven.

My question becomes what if accepting the true gospel of Jesus, that of his coming kingdom both implies belief in his coming death and resurrection and partaking in ushering in that kindom–being part of that present kingdom that desires to bring the values of the future kingdom here on earth as they will be in heaven.

This post was created in mental silence despite the music if Shawn Mcdonald playing, and with a thirsty tongue wishing for a decent pinot noir to sip on, but to lazy to walk down to the basement and open a new bottle.

PS after all the church's anti-Davinci Code rhetoric I gladly took my wife out to the movie theater tonight a gave our $14 to see a decent movie. Upon departure from the theatre my wife looked over at me in the car and said, "By telling people to not go the movie, the church did exactly what the movie implied the church has always been about–keeping secrets." Funny how religious leaders have fallen into that trap with this movie.

"Then he found Jesus and the whole place went to crap."

2006-05-28T08:53:00.001-07:00

Many of you who know me know that I really enjoy old Volvo's. I just like working on cars. It is peaceful for me. Well last night I chatted with a friend who owns and operates a local Volvo repair facility. I am just asking questions to learn more about him, his story, and his journey.

Before he ever owned his own shop he worked for a local Portland Volvo dealership and before that a Volvo dealership in the Bay area. From having chatted with him before I knew that his experience at the local dealership and been worse than bad. "The beaurocracy, the politicising, it was rediculous how certain techs were favored more than others."

So I asked, "Well is it like that at all dealership? Or just here." His response wound up catching me off guard.

"Well the dealership I used to work at in the Bay area was great. Company picknics, company outings. Laid back. Work hard. Pay was hourly. Then the owner said he found Jesus and whole place went to crap. The bean counters came in and reorganized things, no more picknics and outings. Techs began getting paid per job instead of a flat rate."

So my friend has a bit of a nic on his shoulder concerning people who have found Jesus. I was kinda heart broken last night. I fell sorry for my friend that he feels that way about Jesus believers, but also I was heart broken knowing that I have probably caused people to feel that way, and if I have not I probably will one day.

Some how I just don't understand how this whole Christian Enterprise been going on for 2000 years, when it is full of sinful, hurting, and broken people. Or those who care more about the world and themselves than Jesus. How God enables it to keep going I will never understand.

Grrr!!!! I hate Christian Book Stores...and Fiction

2006-05-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago Kathryn needed to make a trip to Michaels, a local craft store, to get some teaching supplies. Not really in a crafty mood I decided to go and buy Mclaren's newest book at Christian Supply.

A little background, I try my best to stay away from Christian book stores. I despise them, they are the capitalism of my faith and it seems so counter to what Jesus taught. I occasionally have dreams of Jesus walking in the division street Christian Supply and clearing it out much in the same fashion he cleared the temple...but alas my dreams never happen.

So I walk into Christian supply like a dog with my tail between my legs. I just want to get in and get out. I have spent countless hours in bookstores and pride myself on being able to find books easily and thriftily. Well I searched and searched. After about 10 minutes I got frustrated and asked one of "The Secret Message of Jesus" by Mclaren. She looks it up says, oh we have one copy and it is in the Theology Section.

So I go back trying to find just the theology section. Frustrated I ask if she can point out the theology section. She comes over and points to it. There are 9 books!!! Only 9 f-ing books in the theology section at a Christian Bookstore. She apologies for being a small story. I quip "well Christian fiction doesnt seem to be hurting, you have 2 aisles for Christian fiction."

She says, "well that's what sells."

I finished her comment under my breath saying, "sadly." I was pretty upset that they didnt have the books I wanted, but I was even more appalled that books concerning theology and doctrine have become so undesired by Christians, and their reading has fallen to Christians Fiction that should have been left behind the shelves for no one to read.

Luckily Portland redeems itself with a bookstore like Powell's that despite being highly confused about Christian things finds itself more than willing to buy the more edgy Christian stuff.

This post was written under the delightful influence of dark chocolate covered almonds and a little 1999 Late Bottled Vintage Graham's Port.

If anyone out there is a port fan. Try and find the 1994 and 1999 Taylor Fladgate LBV....and even if you don't like port, find them, and I will buy them from you..hehe. Have a wonderful day everyone.

The Jews and the Christians

2006-04-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

I always find it interesting around this time of year as Easter draw nigh. Last year Kathryn and I wanted to celebrate passover. I grew up quasi-jewish–keeping all of the dietary laws and keeping all of the holy days.

Last year when we tried to celebrate passover but found out that passover was a month after easter. I was so very puzzled as to how Christians and Jews determine one their most holy days.

This year though passover happened to fall exactly perfectly with Easter.

The passover occurring on Wednesday evening. With Christ being taken into Roman custody wednesday night. Jesus was therefore crucified on thursday, as he would have had to be taken down before the first day of a Holy Week called the Days of Unleavened Bread. Since this "Sabbath" day is Friday and in Jewish tradition begins at Sunset. This Holy Day would have begun thursday sunset and lasted until friday sunset.

Therefore Jesus would have been placed in the tomb on thursday before sunset. The Jews would have celebrated the first day of unleavened bread that evening.

This is Mathew 12:39 Then some of the experts in the law⁵⁵ along with some Pharisees⁵⁶ answered him,⁵⁷ “Teacher, we want to see a sign⁵⁸ from you.” 12:39 But he answered them,⁵⁹ “An evil and adulterous generation asks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 12:40 For just as Jonah was in the belly of the huge fish⁶⁰ for three days and three nights,⁶¹ so the Son of Man will be in the heart of the earth for three days and three nights.

Therefore Jesus was in the belly of the earth from thursday sunset, to friday sunset, to saturday sunset, and rose on the third day Sunday.

For Jewish Christians there is no question as to the timeline of these events....though I have always wondered why Christians have never questioned the timeline of Good Friday and Easter.

I am interested to know what thoughts you might have.

These thoughts have been made while imbibing grapefruit juice and some wonderful blueberry muffins made from Kathryn's hand.

A Debate betwist Differing people with different beliefs, but they come to one conclusion

2006-03-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

I got wind that one of my favorite professors, Dr. Brad Harper, was going to debate Dr. Marcus Borg on Jesus, The Church, and Culture. Having been raised in the evangelical tradition, which means to think of Dr. Borg as an Satan incarnate, and Dr. Harper being my favorite professor, I had to go hear this debate. The following is the transcript I wrote for the Voice, though it sadly does not contain my own thoughts and feelings, those should soon follow.

A Multnomah Bible College professor debated leading Jesus Seminar scholar at Oregon State University on March 7.

Dr. Brad Harper, professor of theology, and Dr. Marcus Borg, Hundere professor of religion and culture at Oregon State University, accepted an invitation from The Socratic Club to debate “Jesus, the Church, and Culture: how differing views of Jesus affect the Church’s engagement of culture.”

Dr. Harper opened his 25-minute allotment by saying, “We are not here to re-argue the historical Jesus…. Marcus and I disagree on the identity of Jesus in some ways. Tonight, we have agreed to talk more about the ramifications of our differing views of Jesus.”
As Dr. Borg explained, “The story of Jesus is the most important story I know. How we tell the story matters.”

Dr. Borg’s talk offered five ways of telling the story of Jesus: Jesus the dying savior, Jesus the divine human, Jesus of the “Left Behind” series, Jesus the teacher and Jesus the proclaimer of the way and the kingdom.

Expressing a lack of excitement for Jesus the divine human, he said, “If Jesus is a super human, we cannot imitate him.” He borrowed a quote from Robert Capon’s book, “Hunting the Divine Fox,” where popular Christology was likened to Superman. Borg said, “Jesus, gentle, meek and mild, nearly gets himself done in for good with the kryptonite cross, but at the last minute struggles into the phone booth of the empty tomb, changes into his Easter suit and, with a single bound, leaps back into the planet heaven.”

Dr. Borg spent the majority of his time talking about Jesus of the “Left Behind” series. “When viewing Jesus through this lens,” Dr, Borg said, “Christian life becomes about being prepared and allows for a lack of concern about the world. What does the environment matter if Jesus is coming back in 50 years? What does justice matter if political institutions will soon be destroyed anyway? And war, well, war is part of what leads up to the coming of Jesus. For example to try to favor a peace settlement between Israel and the Palestinians might actually get in the way of the Second Coming.”

“The portrait of Jesus as teacher reduces the message of Jesus almost to something that can be put on Hallmark greeting cards,” Dr. Borg said.

Dr. Borg’s final view of Jesus was, Jesus as proclaimer of the way and the kingdom. Dr. Borg said he holds a very high view of the kingdom of God, “The kingdom of God is the transformation of the earth.” Taking the kingdom of God seriously leads to a “political vision strongly at variance with much of modern western culture, a passion for economic justice and is an anti-imperial vision of the world.” He concluded his talk by saying, “Christianity is the only major enduring religion whose founder was executed by the authorities. There is a political edginess built into [Christianity] from the beginning that has so often been domesticated and is still domesticated by these other ways to tell the story of Jesus.”

Dr. Harper argued that “the traditional view of God in the flesh does it, and does it better.” Dr. Harper explained that his view of God in the flesh engages culture because God is near, one can know God, and it shows the humanity of God. He also explained that the doctrinal Jesus engages culture and that Jesus was a social prophet.

“I think the biblical view of Jesus as God in the flesh engages culture more effectively,” Dr. Harper said, “[My view] is rooted in the value given to physical creation by the incarnation. God taking on flesh in Christ means that he came to redeem all of creation. Thus, in the big picture view of salvation, the body matters so we can engage people holistically, being interested in their physical health, their poverty, education, etc., not just in their eternal destiny. The earth matters so salvation includes the environment, calling on the church to preserve and save it for God’s glory since he reveals his glory through it and will ultimately restore it to perfection. If God actually took on creation in the human flesh of Jesus, these things matter a great deal.”

Dr. Harper also believes that an eschatology, which envisions a restored cosmos rather than spirit existence, calls for a more holistic view of salvation. Such an eschatological view draws humanity and the earth with its equality of gender, race, class, etc., back into the present in the church so that the church reflects these realities in the present,” Dr. Harper said.

Even though Dr. Harper and Dr. Borg have differing views of Jesus, both come to similar conclusions: Being a Christian is not about believing x, y and z about Christ, but about being in a relationship with Christ. Following Jesus leads to transformation of one’s self and the world.

This post was written under the influence of generic brand Day-Quil, while listening to the hasidic sounds of Matisyahu.

Are Christians and Born-Again Christians different

2006-03-05T20:54:00.000-08:00

My neighbor accross the street is a great guy. His name is Jonathan. He is 49 waits tables for a living, cares about the earth, politics, and people. He has a spirited dog named Bella that his ex gave him. This morning while Kathryn was off to a job fair he and I got to talking.

Now a little back ground. The people who used to live in my house were christians. Good people, people of prayer. My neighbors to the south are also believers. Both of these families though had been wrapped up both in the Republican politics of the evangelical church as well as the gay marriage issue in Oregon. They had proudly flown banners, posters, flags, bumper stickers and all the Christian/Republican Party paraphania.

My neighbors to the south recently sold their house and we have yet to meet the new owners. Today as Jonathan the dog owner came over and we chatted outside enjoying the sun he mentioned that he hoped the new owners were good people. I asked what he meant.

Jonathan said that although he enjoyed the couple that used to live in my home he really dislike the Born again Christian message and politics and felt that he had nothing in common with the born again christian thing.

I mentioned that his neighbor Amy faithfully takes her daughter to church every week and he remarked, "Yeah, well she isn't one of those Born Again types, she is easy to be around."

We continued chatting about the neighborhood, all the chores we needed to do around the house and summer plans. All the while though I kept wondering, "somehow for people of this world, there is a difference betwixt just being a Christian and being a "Born Again" Christian."

Sometime in the future I would like to continue this conversation with Jonathan and try and understand exactly what a Born Again Christian is.

This whole conversation just made me really sad. I want to make a difference in this world for the next, but how do I do that.

I might go to Hell over this one

2006-01-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

Tonight I got to hear my friend Jack the butcher speak about following Christ not being about good behavior but truth in life.

This got me thinking, as Rees the Realtor and I have been talking about the origins and notions of hell.

The Pharisees used the concept of hell to try and get people to follow the law. Jesus used the Pharisees position on hell and turned it back on them.

Is a literal belief about hell helpful in bringing us to life, heart, inner transformation; or is hell helpful in creating good behavior?

Matthew 16:18 in the Net Bible says: "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overpower it."

An alternate reading in other texts is, "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the power of death will not overpower it."

I started wondering the other day if when Jesus says to Peter, "the gates of hell/sheol/gehenna/hades[whatever you want to call it] shall not overcome [the church]" if Jesus is really speaking about the Pharisee's legalism.

Is Jesus saying the Pharisee's legalism shall never overcome the true church? The more I interact with Paul and his discussions of the law and the gentiles and Jews, I see him wanting to set them free from the law.

The whole sabbath for man not man for the sabbath argument comes to mind.

Boy this all seems like a stretch, but please let me know your thoughts....

Boxes are for Perfection

2006-01-22T10:40:00.000-08:00

My wife and I frequent a local coffee shop in our fair city of Portland. We first discovered Urban Grind when Kathryn got a gallery showing at their eastside gallery.

We have become regulars, we know everyones name, they know us, we often chat with people we know who are also regulars.

Macker and Brenda are the owners and it is a great place. Urban Grind also happens to be a church: The Urban Church.

I have visited the church before, know some of the people that regularly attend and the pastors know my name. But recently I found out that Macker and Brenda a getting a divorce. Somehow I was shocked, yet not.

You see Brenda and Macker are also co-founding pastors of The Urban Church. I have actually been quite confused as so how a couple so intentional about ministry could be getting a divorce. The typical rumors fly through my head, but I know that surely that would not be so.

My heart leaves me sad that this wonderful coffee shop that reaches out with such love to the surrounding neighborhood could become so broken because of divorce.

How can my friend Macker be leaving his wife and 2 kids, and the ministry he started. How? How? How?

I am somewhat of a newlywed myself. Kathryn and I have been married for a year and a half, yet somehow we can only imagine the few things that would drive us apart. And it saddens me that my favorite coffee shop and one of my favorite persons in Portland has succumbed to one of those things.

I have often questioned why this divorce has so effected me. And I don't know. I am the child of divorce, and divorce has coursed the veins of most of my family, yet this seems so abnormal, so unreal.

I woke up the other morning to Kathryn praying for Macker and Brenda. Sometimes we try and make sense of everything through the Bible. Yet I know that the Bible does not provide all of lifes answers and does not comfort all of lifes hurts.

Sometimes I wonder if my faith is weak because I believe that, because as Justin the guitar player puts it, I cannot draw lines in the sand for everything.

Why do I want to draw lines for everything. I want do I want everything to fit into a nice box. I don't fit into a box, I hate having labels be placed upon me. I once was called both a liberal and conservative within a week of each other.

Since I hate those things so much why is it when I approach church I try and make things nice and pretty and make everything fit. When everything I read about scripture leads me to a place where living the Jesus filled life is a dirty one, one of journey, learning, sin, depression, hope, redemption, atonement.

So I realise that Macker and Brenda are also on a journey towards redemption and atonement and that it is not pretty, but I desperately want to see them succeed together.

This post was written while listening to the Gorillaz and while drinking an Urban Grind dark roast coffee with Irish creme with room for 1/2 and 1/2.

Sometimes it is Hard to Stick it Out

2005-10-30T22:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am working on a piece about Portland: Unwired and Personal Telco, as well as trying to figure out my own doubts about God and Church. My background and knowledge just make me so sceptical sometimes about my faith.

I often listen to music while writing. I recently bought a house and am still unpacking so cd's were hard to come by. Working on my laptop I decided to play some music on random from my iTunes library.

Midway through my writing iTunes played "I'm Missin You" by Chris Rice. This is the only Chris Rice song I own, and I often am turned off by Christian Music. But this song seems to both break open my heart and heal old wounds at the same time.

Life sometimes comes at me, and all of us so hard. Finances, relationships, doubt, school, work, laundry, and busywork just all seem to rain when it pours.

"I'm Missin You" is a call for Jesus to return. That my heart will not be complete until his return, that sometimes I just wish Christ would go ahead and return so that this mess of a life that I have to deal with would just be over. Usually late in the eveing after enjoying a glass of wine and feeling lonely, I, in a non suicidal way wish Christ would return so this sinful, at times non-growth filled, and occasionally boring life would be put to rest. This songs is what I would call my depressed music. Because this is one of those songs I want to hear when I am sad and feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. This song encourages my depression for the first few listens. But as time goes by the words of hope in this song brighten my attitude. This song reminds me of the hope I have--I can make it through the rest of today.

I wrote this while under the influence of a fine 1997 Navarro Vineyards Cabernet Savignonnd was inspired by the music of Chris Rice and Bap Kennedy.

An Interview with Derek Webb

2005-10-28T13:36:00.000-07:00

Derek Webb has long been a fixture in Christian music circles. In 2002 Derek Webb broke away as frontman for Caedmon’s Call and began a solo project. On October 17 Derek Webb gave a message at Central Bible Church. Before the message began I sat down with Derek Webb.

You are working on a new album, correct?

Derek: Yes, the album comes out in December, it’s called Mocking Bird.

Jonathan: Will it be as “well received” as your last two albums?

Derek: (laughter), well this next one is fairly political in nature. I am not sure it will be received any better. I have really been influenced.

Jonathan: The joining of Politics and the Church seems to be on your heart. What are your thoughts about church and politics?

Derek: “The Church, at least for the last four or five decades, has prepackaged, doctrine, theology, politics, sexuality, everything that a Christian is supposed to believe into a gift basket. And when you accept Christ and get baptized, you get handed this basket and told, here you go, we have already figured this out, just believe all these things and you will be fine.

Jonathan: Has the church been closely tied to politics?

Derek: The church has been married to a political party and has made it damn near impossible to follow Jesus.

Jonathan: Then how can the Church do politics?

Derek: With our two party system we are always having to choose one party or the other, whereas our politics should follow our morality and Jesus. If a Christian today wants to follow Jesus’ teachings in our political system, they will look like a river—running left, then right, then down the middle. A river runs all over the place. Christians vote all the time based on “Human Rights,” abortion and gay marriage. Yet if we are really going to believe in human rights that we also have to vote a particular way on the death penalty, the poor, the oppressed, the needy, the hungry, the elderly. Yet we seem to completely look the other direction when in comes to those other areas of human rights.

Jonathan: With all this talk about human rights, I feel as though consumerism ahs really hurt the contemporary Church. How do you be a musician and a Christian today and not feel guilty about have your ministry and your living funded by going out and performing concerts and selling CD’s?

Derek: That’s tough. It is just part of the society we live, and somethings I cannot help, but we are pretty careful to be part of record labels that are honoring and not involved in shenanigans or trying to make us sell out. We work really hard to allow our evangelism and our ministry to fall out of our worldview.

Jonathan: What are your thoughts about art in the church?

Derek: I think we have to be brutally honest that art in the church is horrible.

Jonathan: Why is that?

Derek: To be honest we have been told for years that unless there is a scripture or imagry of the cross, Jesus, Holy Spirit, or God that it is not Christian. But the real truth is that God created everything in this world, the earth, the sky, all creatures, plants, people, sex—he created them and therefore I can write a lyric or melody about all these things, and it can impact his church. You wanna see the heart of any movement or people, or group through history, look at their art.

Jonathan: Do you ever look in the mirror and feel you might be wrong or a heretic?

Derek: No, but that is because I am open to rebuke, if I am wrong then I want people to step forward and call that out. And with my music, somethings have offended people but they have not rebuked me.

Jonathan: Your thoughts on Politics and Art seem to resonate a lot of with the emergent people?

Derek: What is emergent?

Jonathan: The postmodern movement within the church. Grenz, Webber, Mclaren, those guys.

Derek: Oh yeah. I am always nervous of movements. I don’t know what I think about them yet. I have to appreciate the real freshness they bring, but I am always suspicious of movements. We will see where they go. Part of their charm right now is that they do not want to have a doctrinal statement and nail down beliefs. But these things sometimes turn into movements. We will just say that I am waiting to see what it turns into once these postmodern guys stop reacting to what they came out of and start being proactive to something new.

Jonathan: What is the book you are reading right now?

Derek: "Sex, Economy, Freedom and Community," by Wendell Berry

Jonathan: Where is your home?

Derek: Urban Nashville, Tennesee.

Jonathan: Who was integral in your faith?

Derek: These will sound cliché but probably Martin Luther King, Steve Earl, and Stan Hauerwas.

Jonathan: If you could leave a legacy what would it be?

Derek: I don’t know. Rich Mullens said something to this effect. The person who tries to leave a legacy leaves a legacy of ambition. So I don’t know.

Jonathan: What is your heart for the church?

Derek: I wish the church would not be afraid to be proactive instead of reactive. The church lives in such fear politically, culturally, and morally.